Military romance scams: 10 warning signs

What are military romance scams? 

A military romance scam is a type of confidence trick where a fraudster, known as a military scammer, impersonates a service member to gain a target’s trust and exploit them financially or emotionally. These scammers create fake identities, often using stolen photos, to deceive their targets.

To make their stories seem believable, scammers frequently claim to be stationed overseas, providing an excuse for why they can’t meet in person. These scams commonly occur on dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, or Bumble as well as on social media platforms like Instagram or Facebook.

How does a military romance scam work?

Romance military scams can quickly spiral out of control, progressing to theft and emotional devastation in a matter of weeks. Let’s break down exactly how these scams happen from start to finish. 

1. 1.The scammer creates a fake profile: The scammer builds a believable profile on dating apps and social media, often stealing photos and biographies from real service members or veterans to do so. 
2. 2.They find vulnerable matches to target: The scammer scours dating apps and social media platforms to find prospective victims. People who appear to be emotionally vulnerable or sympathetic to military causes are common targets. 
3. 3.They “love bomb” victims: The scammer reaches out to their victim and escalates the relationship quickly to create a sense of intimacy and trust. They’ll overwhelm the victim with attention and flattery to manipulate them and will initiate conversations about personal topics to build trust. 
4. 4.They ask for money: Once the scammer has established an intimate relationship, they ask the victim to send them money or gift cards. They’ll often claim that they need the money for a medical emergency or unexpected travel expenses. The scammer may also ask for your bank account details or other information they could use for identity theft. 
5. 5.After receiving the money, they disappear: Once the scammer gets what they’re after, they ghost their victims, leaving them confused or embarrassed. Scammers will also disappear if the victim catches on to their tactics. 

Military romance scams: Are you a target?

Online dating scams are more common than you might think. In fact, a recent NordVPN survey found that 24% of Americans had been targeted by a romance scam at least once. 

But how do scammers decide who to reach out to? They look for profiles with specific characteristics that indicate susceptibility to romance scams. 

Notably, scammers look for people who might be emotionally vulnerable and willing to jump into an online relationship quickly. Victims often express feelings of loneliness or low-self esteem on their profile. Many scammers will also target people who have been through a big life change recently, such as a divorce, the death of a close friend or family member, or a move to a new city. 

When it comes to military romance scams specifically, scammers tend to seek out individuals who are sympathetic to the military. They often target people who have attended military fundraisers, publicly express support for troops on social media, or have a history of dating military members. By posing as service members, scammers exploit this trust and admiration to make their schemes more convincing.

Warning signs that you are dealing with a military scammer

Think your online dating match might actually be an army romance scam? Here are some tell-tale signs of a scammer to watch out for. 

They need money for an emergency

Scammers often claim they need money for a far-fetched emergency. For example, they might claim they were hurt in combat and need money for medical care or that they need money to come home and see family. 

In reality, the military pays for things like food, housing, medical care, and transportation. Service members would never need to ask for outside financial assistance. 

They claim they can’t access their bank account

Another common scammer claim is that they can’t access their bank account while living overseas and will ask you to send them money or gift cards instead. It’s best to avoid sending people money online if you haven’t met and built a relationship in real life. 

Their social media profiles feel “off”

Many scammers will have little to no social media presence. They will have very few friends or connections, and their profile will have been created very recently. Alternatively, their profiles might be full of strange links or other random content. 

Their military ID photo looks suspicious

Scammers may send a fake or doctored military ID to “prove” their identity. These IDs often have poor image quality, mismatched fonts, incorrect formatting, or other inconsistencies. In some cases, they may use a real service member’s photo but alter the details. Furthermore,  if someone offers to send this “proof” unsolicited, it’s likely a red flag.

They want to send money or items back to the US

Some scammers will claim that they’ve recently acquired a large sum of money or a valuable item, and they need your help to get it back to the US. They’ll use this tactic to steal your bank account information, address, or other personal information to conduct identity fraud. They also might ask you to send them money for shipping or transfer fees. 

They don’t have a military email address

If you're in the United States, real service members will have a .mil email address. If someone claiming to be in the U.S. military only uses a Gmail account or another personal email, it’s a red flag. Other countries have their own official military email domains, so be sure to verify based on where they say they serve.

They refuse to have a video chat

Many scammers will avoid video chats at all costs, preferring to keep communication over text message, email, or Whatsapp. Some scammers may be willing to have phone calls but will use a voice changer or other strategies to obscure their identity. 

Scammers will often claim that they can’t have video chats for “security reasons.” However, the military doesn’t usually restrict access to video chat or other communications. 

They escalate the relationship quickly

Scammers will often “love bomb” you to spark an emotional reaction. They will message you at all hours of the day and night, showering you with compliments to make you feel special. They might ask you to be their boyfriend or girlfriend, say “I love you,” or even propose within a very short period of time. 

They make strange spelling or grammatical errors

Many military scammers are from foreign countries, although they claim to be American. They often make spelling and grammar errors that wouldn’t be normal for a military officer.

They’re unfamiliar with key military concepts

A scammer might not understand important military terminology or concepts that they should be familiar with. Alternatively, they might overuse military jargon and overwhelm you with “stories” from their deployments in an attempt to seem more convincing. 

They propose investment opportunities that seem too good to be true

In some cases, these scammers will combine romance scams with pig butchering scams or other investment scams. Once you’ve built a relationship, they’ll ask you to invest in a new cryptocurrency or startup venture, only to take the money and run. 

What questions should you ask a military scammer?

If you suspect that you’re talking to a military romance scammer, you need to have a conversation about their military experience to determine whether or not they’re legitimate. If you notice any red flags, ask them these questions to learn more:

• What is your full name, military branch, and rank? 
• What is your official military email address?
• Where are you currently stationed? 
• Where and when have you been deployed? 
• What is your military occupational specialty? 

A real military service member will be able to answer these questions in detail. You’ll be able to use their answers to conduct your own research and verify their military service.

If you’re talking to a military member online and they can’t or won’t answer these questions, there’s a good chance their profile is fake. If you’re still unsure if someone is a scammer, suggest a video call. Scammers will often refuse to take video calls because they’ve used fake photos to create their profiles. 

What to do if you’re the victim of a military romance scam 

If you’ve been taken advantage of by a military romance scammer, you’ll need to take action right away to re-secure your finances. Here’s what to do: 

• Cut contact with the scammer. Stop talking to them and cancel any pending financial transactions. 
• Save evidence of the scam. The more evidence you have, the easier it is to report the scam to the authorities. Save any emails, text messages, voicemails, and bank statements that corroborate your story. 
• Contact the authorities. File reports with the US Military’s Criminal Investigation Division, the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center, and your local police department. 
• File an identity theft report. If you think your identity may have been stolen in the scam, file a report with the Federal Trade Commission through identitytheft.gov
• Inform your bank. Many banks have scam and fraud alert programs, which can help you block fraudulent transactions if the scammer steals your bank account information. 
• Freeze your credit. Consider contacting Equifax, TransUnion, and Experian to freeze your credit so your score won’t be affected if the scammer takes out a loan in your name. 
• Report the scammer online. File reports with any dating apps, social media sites, and other online platforms where the scammer had fraudulent profiles. 
• Change your passwords. Change your passwords and enable multi-factor authentication on all online accounts. 
• Implement security tools. Use anti-phishing software to filter out scammy emails and prevent emails from fraudsters reaching your account. 
• Get emotional support. Don’t blame yourself for what happened, because today’s scammers have become very savvy with their tactics. Since military romance scams can be overwhelming, lean on friends and family or see a therapist to help you recover. 

Military romance scams: How to avoid them

Staying cautious and vigilant can help you avoid military romance scams. Follow these steps to protect yourself when dating online:

• Research your online matches. Conduct a reverse image search on their profile pictures. Military romance scam pictures are often stolen from other websites or social media profiles. If they’ve been used elsewhere, the profile is likely a scam. On top of that, use Google searches to learn more about their military background. If they have no other online presence, that could be a red flag. 
• Communicate via phone and video call. Scammers often stick to text messages or email to hide their true identity. 
• Take things slow. If your online match says “I love you” right away or even proposes quickly, it could be a sign of a scammer. Instead, take your online relationships very slow.
• Don’t send money or share personal details online. Even if your online match seems trustworthy, don’t send them money, gift cards, or valuable personal information. If the person is genuine, they’ll understand why you don’t want to share this information. 
• Use digital protection tools. NordVPN offers a variety of tools to help you identify and avoid scams. In addition to our VPN, we also offer Threat Protection Pro™ to help you spot and avoid scams in real time as well as a malware scanner to help you avoid dangerous downloads.